Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Small Story About A Breast Part 3: The CALL-BACK!!

So, I went for my mammogram, right?  Of course I was hoping for the "all clear, everything looks good, come back in a year" message.  But with my luck?  That is almost never going to happen.

I had to go back for ANOTHER mammogram.  I was confused and thought they needed better pictures of my cyst.






Of course, I was nervous.  Who wouldn't be?





And there I was, back in that dreaded waiting room again, in a hospital gown, with the "fancy" plastic purse to hold my clothes.

The technician was trying to be very helpful.  She asked if I was aware of why I was back again.  "Because they want to get better images of my cyst?" I asked.

"No."  She said.  They were looking at a DIFFERENT area.

I felt the blood drain out of me.








And then things got creepier when she got out the permanent marker and started drawing on my hoot.






After another squeeze-a-thon, I got to walk down the hall for an ultrasound.  Standard procedure.






On the way home in the car, I lost it.  Sure, I can be melodramatic. That's a given.

And it's funny too, because the day before the appointment I felt good.  I kicked ASS during my workout session, and suddenly the words of Good Saint Jillian came to me from "Ripped In Thirty" level 4:

"I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU!  AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU ARE GOING TO BE UNBREAKABLE!!!"






Then, the DAY AFTER going for the new mammo and ultrasound, it was my husband's 40th birthday.  I was in the kitchen with my girlie getting all set up to make the birthday cake.  The phone rang.



It was the Dr's office.  My doctor.  They wanted me to come in THAT MORNING.  I got off the phone, walked over to the couch and put my head between my knees, lest I barf.

And then I did what any good, grown woman does:  I FREAKED.  I brought my sister to the dr's with me.  My dad drove us there.

She told me I have a "suspicious" spot.  She told me that it's REALLY GOOD I came in to get that cyst checked out so they could find this and investigate.  She told me it's very common to get called back. She told me that the lump is so small I'd never have been able to find it myself, so in the event that it's anything "bad," it will be "highly treatable."

But I cried!  I cried because when my Mom went into the hospital finally, they told her she had stage 4 lung cancer, and even though this is nothing like that scenario, I was so frightened they'd say something scary like that.

So, tomorrow I go for a biopsy, and then I have to go through more agonizing waiting to find out.

There are actually a lot of comforting stories online about other ladies going through the exact thing I'm going through, and these little lumps all turned out to be nothing for them.

Hey, if there are any of you ladies out there who have been through this, and you've usually been too shy to comment, can you speak up please?  I could use some good stories right about now! I've been having a rollercoaster weekend:  one minute INVINCIBLE, and the next minute sobbing.  Apparently this is my new face:  with major bags under the eyes.



Stay tuned....

33 comments:

  1. I haven't gone through it, but you are in my thoughts. Everything is going to be fine. Yeah, my mom always told me that.

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  2. I've had two call backs. One was a plugged milk duct and one a cyst that went away. Calcifications can also show as lumps but are benign. I have a friend with dense lumpy breasts and she constantly goes through this and the biopsies are always negative. Think the best. Keep us posted.

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    1. Thank you Chania. This is very comforting to hear. I appreciate it, and I'm glad both you and your friend are okay!!!

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  3. Karen my heart goes out to you because this is how I feel every time I go to the Dr. about my thyroid and all the tests. My girlfriend went through all that you are going through, even to the point of getting a biopsy of the cyst, negative. Please hold onto the positive thoughts.

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    1. oh yes Alain..the dreaded thyroid! Well, I have been through lots of stabbiness with that, and even some stupidity whereby they had to do a second biopsy right after they'd already done one, because they still didn't know if it was cancerous or not. So, I'm there with you, woman.

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  4. Karen, I haven't been through anything similar, but I am sending you MUCH LOVE and all my good wishes from the bottom of my black heart! Let us know how you get on. I'll be thinking of you. xxxx

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    1. Thank you Curtise. I am GLAD you haven't been through anything similar. Leave the neurotic panicking to me!

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  5. I know how you feel.
    I felt the same way 2 years ago when my Mammo came back "suspicious"
    It was to be the first of several "suspicious" mammos and being sent for needle biopsies.
    Thankfully, I've been all clear.
    (YAY!!!)

    I am sending all kinds of positive thoughts your way.
    xxx

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    1. good for you! Thank you so much for your kind words, and for leaving a comment. I really appreciate it. I am, after all, a total baby.

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  6. Fuck a duck, I'd be freaking out too - and I don't have a sister so if it happened to me I'd call YOU and you'd come to my appointment with me, right??? I just KNOW that you are FINE. BIGGEST HUGS AND STRONG COCKTAILS FROM ME. Sarah xxx

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    1. Damn straight I would Sarah! I'm good today, so no worries.

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  7. Bad Chrome eating comments... but stay strong. I will be praying the biopsy is quick, painless and uneventful, and all results are negative. You're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for.

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    1. thank you Tanner, I hope so too! And thank you for your nice words. Maybe I am, but maybe I truly am the creme puff I think I am.

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  8. I am sorry you are gong through this. I haven't, but my Mum had a lump they discovered after a mammogram. It was the size of a grain of rice and right behind the nipple, so there is no way she would have discovered it by herself. Anyway they had to remove it as it was cancer, but it was one of those self contained ones that didn't spread. All good.
    Keeping my fingers crossed for you, I know you can get through this.

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    1. Thank you Sprite, I'm so glad your Mum is okay! I'm glad you haven't gone through any of this breast stress!

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  9. I knew something was up because your post was over a week due. It is good to see others have had a call back and it was nothing. You are probably in that boat. Thinking of you!

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    1. Yeah, stupid breasts eh Melissa! Thanks for thinking of me.

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  10. I am a survivor. 4 years now and going strong. Your going to cry, and scream, but your also going to fight. I hated when people said I was lucky It was caught early so I wont say that. Now mine was a little different and I had to have surgery and then chemo.

    You will survive but there will be times when you want to cry..well cry, your allowed. Thankfully things have changed in the last 10 years and there has been so much progress. If you want to talk email me through my blog and I will be happy to talk to you about it

    You are in my prayers..but your strong..and it will be fine. Scary but fine

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    1. Good for you Judy, you amazing, inspiring woman you. And thank you so much for offering to talk. I will check out your blog. I am so behind on my blog reading from freaking out lately that it's not even funny. Sigh.

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  11. Big love, you'll be fine. It's weird when they start drawing on you isn't it? Don't worry, it'll all be great. I'm not surprised you're worrying considering what happened to your mum, but it's really not the same - by the sounds of it. go buy yourself treats.

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    1. Thank you Clare. It is weird, you're right. Yes, logically I know it's not like my Mom, but logic fucked off completely over the weekend.

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  12. Shoot, this sucks.
    I don't think they'd tell you it was minor if it wasn't...they don't want to be sued. You are awesome for going and getting it caught. I'm 44 and have put off my first mammogram, but now I'm making my appointment. You've convinced me. It will be fine. Go eat a little bit of chocolate but don't go off your diet too much...you have a long life ahead of you and you want to be skinny for it! (Jillian would agree).

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    1. Good for you Beth! I'm so glad I convinced you, even through my whining and lamenting. My doctor told me that women run into trouble by ignoring their breast issues and letting them go for a long time.

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  13. I am kinda stuck on what to say...I have been through many test with my boobs, as I have some sort of lumpy breast thing...I will always have lumps and bumps...and every time I find one, i call my Dr..we check out. Its tiring. Everytime. I freak out. Not fun.
    One of my friends has just learned she has breast cancer and is having both of her breast removed this week.

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    1. Aw Steph, I'm so sorry about your friend. I hope everything goes well for her. Just think of that courageous Christina Applegate! I have a lot of lumps and bumps. Oh yes.

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  14. You will be OK! My mom had to have a mammogram and a biopsy several years again and it all turned out to be nothing.

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    1. ago, not again. My brain moves a lot faster than my typing. Not sure what that says about my brain or typing skills cause I am an awfully slow typer.

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    2. Thank you Ruth, I really, really appreciate you telling me this. I have heard these reassuring stories now many times, and they really help.

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  15. Karen, this was/is an exhausting experience for you to go through. I appreciate your candor and honesty in expressing your feelings so openly. Stay strong as best you can and we send all the positive energy we can muster your way.

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    1. Thank you Jim. I appreciate your kindness and lovely words. Exhausting is right!

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  16. i just now saw you'd posted this. i'm late to the comforting party, but as i told you on fb, i've got breast issues in my family too and we're all still around to talk about them.
    i hope you get that biopsy and results taken care of soon. yay for modern medicine and speedy doctor appointments!

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    1. true, Sherilinnie! It is good that things move along quickly!

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